The attractive, friendly woman who’s gotten everything she wanted in life without ever having to develop a personality or learn the value of diligence, hard work, and perseverence…
and the average-looking woman who may have been turned hard by a world that hasn’t given her what she wanted just because of her beauty. The woman who’s had to learn that humor and cultivated intelligence are the tools she must employ to achieve what she wants.
I don’t blame the first woman. I just find it much harder to like her.
Harry: The first time we met, we hated each other. Sally: No, you didn’t hate me, I hated you. And the second time we met, you didn’t even remember me. Harry: I did too, I remembered you. The third time we met, we became friends. Sally: We were friends for a long time. Harry: And then we weren’t. Sally: And then we fell in love.
Harry: I've been doing a lot of thinking. And the
thing is, I love you.
Harry: I love you.
Sally: How do you expect me to respond to this?
Harry: How about you love me too?
Sally: How about I'm leaving.
Harry: Doesn't what I said mean anything to you?
Sally: I'm sorry Harry, I know it's New Years Eve, I know
you're feeling lonely, but you just can't show up here, tell me
you love me and expect that to make everything alright.
It doesn't work this way.
Harry: Well how does it work?
Sally: I don't know but not this way.
Harry: Well how about this way. I love that you get
cold when it's seventy one degrees out, I love that it takes you an hour
and a half to order a sandwich, I love that you get a little crinkle
above your nose when you're looking at me like I'm nuts, I love that
after I spend a day with you I can still smell your perfume on my clothes
and I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go
to sleep at night. And it's not because I'm lonely, and it's not because
it's New Years Eve. I came here tonight because when you realise you want
to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of the
life to start as soon as possible.
Sally: You see, that is just like you Harry. You say
things like that and you make it impossible for me to hate you.
And I hate you Harry... I really hate you. I hate you.
(They kiss and make up.)
Sally: He just met her. She's suppose to be his transitional
person, she's not suppose to be the one. All this time I've been saying
that he didn't want to get married, but the truth is, he didn't want
to marry me. He didn't love me.
Harry: If you could take him back right now, would you?
Sally: No, but why didn't he want to marry me?
What's the matter with me?
Harry: Aw, nothing.
Sally: I'm difficult.
Harry: You're challenging.
Sally: I'm too structured, I'm completely closed off.
Harry: But in a good way.
Sally: No, no, no I drove him away, and I'm going to be forty.
Harry: In eight years.
Sally: But it's there. It's just sitting there like
this big dead end. And it's not the same for men. Charlie Chaplain
had babies when he was seventy three.
Harry: Yeah but he was too old to pick them up.
(Sally laughs a little, then turns into sobbing again.)
(New scene, in Jess and Marie's house, a bunch of people playing
pictionary or something similar. Sally is drawing something on the white
Jess: Uh, it's a monkey. It's a monkey, monkey see monkey do!
It's... an ape, going ape!
Woman: It's a baby!
(Sally points to her.)
Jess: Planet of the apes!
Harry: Planet of the apes? She just said it's a baby.
How about planet of the dopes?
Jess: It doesn't look like a baby.
Harry: Hmm a big mouth... Mick Jagger is a baby!
Jess: Baby ape, baby ape!
Harry: Stop with the apes would you please?
Woman: Uh... baby's breath!
Harry: Rosemary's Baby's mouth! Won't you come home Bill baby!
Woman: Babababy...kiss the baby!
Harry: Melancholy baby's mouth!
Jess: Baba...baby fish mouth, baby fish mouth!
(Out of shot: fifteen seconds.)
Woman: Baby boom!
Jess: Draw something resembling anything.
Woman: Crying baby, kiss the baby.
Harry: Uh...Baby spitting up, exorcist baby!
Woman: Yes sir that's my baby!
Harry: No sir don't mean may be.
(Out of shot: That's it times up.)
Sally: Baby talk.
Jess: Baby talk? What's that, that's not a saying.
Harry: Oh but baby fish mouth is sweeping the nation.
(Woman nods while the man kept talking.)
Man: A man came to me and said, "I found nice girl for you,
she lives in the next village, and she is ready for marriage."
We were not suppose to meet until the wedding, but I wanted to make sure.
So I sneak into her village, hid behind a tree, watch her washing the clothes.
I think if I don't like the way she looks, I don't marry her.
But she look very nice to me. So I said, "OK." to the man. We get married.
We married for fifty five years.
Woman: Well, he was the head counsellor and the boys' camp
and I was the head counsellor at the girls' camp, and they had a social
one night, and he walked across the room. I thought he was coming to
talk to my friend Maxine, 'cos people were always crossing rooms to talk
to Maxine. But he was coming to talk to me, and he said...
Man: I'm Ben Small of the Coney Island Smalls.
Woman: At that moment I knew. I knew the way you know about a good melon.
(Harry and Jess practising their batting with coin activated pitching machine)
Jess: I don't understand this relationship.
Harry: What do you mean?
Jess: You enjoy being with her?
Jess: You find her attractive?
Jess: And you're not sleeping with her.
Jess: You're afraid to let yourself be happy.
Harry: Why can't you give me credit for this?
This is a big thing for me. I never had a relationship with a woman
that didn't involve sex. I feel like I'm growing.
Kid: You finish yet?
Harry: Hey I got a whole stack of quarters and I was here first.
Kid: Were not.
Harry: Was too.
Kid: Were not!
Harry: Was too!
Kid: Big jerk!
Harry: Little creep! (To Jess) Where was I?
Jess: You were growing.
Harry: Yeah. It's very freeing. I can say anything to her.
Jess: Are you saying you can say things to her you can't say to me?
Harry: Nah it's just different. It's a whole new perspective.
I get the woman's point of view on things. She tells me about the men
she goes out with and I can talk to her about the women that I see.
Jess: You tell her about other women.
Harry: Yeah. Like the other night. I made love to this woman,
and it was so incredible, I took her to a place that wasn't human,
she actually meowed.
Jess: You made a woman meow?
Harry: Yah. That's the point, I can say these things to her.
And the great thing is, I don't have to lie because I'm not always
thinking about how to get her into bed. I can just be myself.
Jess: You made a woman meow?
Harry: It was the most uncomfortable night of my life.
Sally: Oh. See no, it has to go this way.
The first day back is always the toughest Harry.
Harry: We only had one date.
How do you know it's not going to get worse?
Sally: How much worse can it get than finishing dinner having
him reaching over pull a hair out of my head and starts flossing with
it at the table?
(Harry and Sally walking along the street)
Harry: I had my dream again, where I'm making love and the
Olympic judges are watching. I've nailed the compulsories so this is it,
the finals. I got a nine eight from the Canadian, a perfect ten from
the American, and my mother disguised as a East German judge gave me
a five six. Must've been the dismount.
Sally: Well basically it's the same one I've been having
since I was twelve.
Harry: What happens?
Sally: No it's... it's too embarrassing.
Harry: So tell me.
Sally: OK there's this guy.
Harry: What's he look like.
Sally: I don't know he just kind of faceless.
Harry: Faceless guy, OK, then what?
Sally: He rips off my clothes.
Harry: Then what happens?
Sally: And that's it.
(They stop walking)
Harry: That's it? A faceless guy rips off your clothes
and that's the sex fantasies you've been having since you were twelve.
Exactly the same.
Sally: Well sometimes I vary it a little.
Harry: Which part?
Sally: What I'm wearing.
(Harry pauses, looks away, starts walking again)
Harry: Ooo, Ingrid Bergman, now she's low maintenance.
Sally: Low maintenance?
Harry: There are two kinds of women.
High maintenance and low maintenance.
Sally: And Ingrid Bergman is low maintenance?
Harry: In LM, definitely.
Sally: Which one am I?
Harry: You're the worst kind.
You're high maintenance but you think you're low maintenance.
Sally: I don't see that.
Harry: You don't see that? Waiter, I'll begin with
a house salad, but I don't want the regular dressing. I'll have the
Balsamic vinegar and oil, but on the side. And then the Salmon with
the mustard sauce, but I want the mustard sauce, on the side.
On the side is a very big thing for you.
Sally: Well I just want it the way I want it.
Harry: I know. High maintenance.
Harry: You know the first time I met I really didn’t like you that much. Sally: I didn’t like you. Harry: Yeah you did, you were just so uptight then. You’re much softer now. Sally: You know I hate that kind of remark. It sounds like a complement but really it’s an insult. Harry: OK, you’re still as hard as nails. Sally: I just didn’t want to sleep with you and you had to write it off as a character flaw instead of dealing with the possibility that it might have something to do with you. Harry: What’s the statute of limitation on apologies? Sally: Ten years. Harry: Ooo, I can just get it in under the wire. Sally: Would you like to have dinner with me some time? Harry: Are we becoming friends now? Sally: Well… [Pause] yeah. Harry: Great! A woman friend… You know you may be the first attractive woman I have not wanted to sleep with in my entire life. Sally: That’s wonderful Harry.
Harry: You know you just get to a certain point where you get tired of the whole thing. Sally: What “whole thing”? Harry: The whole life-of-a-single-guy thing. You meet someone, you have the safe lunch, you decide you like each other enough to move on to dinner. You go dancing, you do the white-man’s over-bite, go back to her place, you have sex and the minute you’re finished you know what goes through your mind? How long do I have to lie here and hold her before I can get up and go home. Is thirty seconds enough? Sally: That’s what you’re thinking? Is that true? Harry: Sure! All men think that. How long do you want to be held afterwards? All night, right? See there’s your problem, somewhere between thirty seconds and all night is your problem. Sally: I don’t have a problem! Harry: Yeah you do.
Harry: So how come you broke up with Sheldon? Sally: How do you know we broke up? Harry: Because if you didn’t break up, you wouldn’t be with me, you’d be off with Sheldon the Wonder Schlong. Sally: First of all, I am not with you. And second of all, it is none of your business why we broke up. Harry: You’re right, you’re right. I don’t want to know. Sally: Well, if you must know, it was because he was very jealous and I had these Days of the Week underpants. Harry: [He makes a loud buzzer sound] I’m sorry. I need a judge’s ruling on this. Days of the Week underpants? Sally: Yes. They had the days of the week on them, and I thought they were sort of funny - and then one day, Sheldon says to me, ‘You never wear Sunday.’ He’s all suspicious. Where was Sunday? Where had I left Sunday? And I told him, and he didn’t believe me. Harry: What? Sally: They don’t make Sunday. Harry: Why not? Sally: Because of God.
Except for when my mother constantly interrogates me about my plans to hang out with the one person who’s done the most damage to my overall emotional health.
I’ve done a lot of forgiving. And it’s been in my own time and on my own terms which I admit is not always the right way to go about forgiving but that’s just how it happened so everyone can get over it now. No, I have not fully “gotten over it” because that’s really freaking hard and anyone who wants to go through that shit and try to tell me they can move on easily can suck my left tit. Yes, there is still tension in that relationship. There will be tension in that relationship for as long as I can foresee.
I do not hold onto bitterness. Christ has relieved a heavy burden and for that I am grateful. BUT that doesn’t mean I don’t still have a right to be nervous about the fact that I’m going to hang out with someone this weekend for the first time just the two of us since the damage was done. There. I said it.
Growing up, my family moved almost every 2-3 years. I moved to Delaware during the middle of my 7th grade year. When I was a sophomore in high school, my dad received orders to move to Austin, TX, but instead decided to retire in order for me and my brother to start and finish high school in the same place (side note about how awesome my dad is for putting his family before his career opportunities). Anyway, that’s why Delaware is the one place I’ve lived for the longest amount of time (6 years).
I moved to Nashville for college in the fall of 2009 and have lived here for four years finishing my degree. Now, it is the place I have decided to stay (at least for another two years while I pursue a career in the music industry).
Tomorrow, I’ll be heading back to Delaware for two weeks. And I have felt sick about it for the past three days.
This might not seem like a big deal, but for me, it is. I’m deciding to view this as a blessing. You see, most of the time, leaving a place is not very difficult to me. I’m outgoing and friendly and have always found it easy to make new friends and create community around myself. This is the first time I’ve ever felt sick over a road-trip.
that I’m not very good at feeling my own emotions fully, but that I often am too eager to empathize with others’ emotions, so much so that I take them on as my own. In some ways, I consider this a relational strength. In other ways, I consider this a tool for concealment of what I’m wanting to feel or express.
Today, I think I felt almost every emotion in the book. Thing is, half of those emotions weren’t even for me. I’m so affected by the hearts of those around me that I sometimes lose track of my own, and for that reason, I often feel that I’m disconnected from others, even though at the same time I feel so very connected.
"instinctively, I felt that I could never love Abek. He did not posses the strength that I had known in my father and brother and that I expected in the man I would love. Had he held me in his arms and told me that he would take care of me and shield me, had he not asked me to kiss him but kissed me masterfully and assuredly, I might have given him the answer he wanted. His weakness shattered my illusions."
4 inches gone. It doesn’t seem like a big deal to you, but I have a legitimate fear of losing my femininity along with my hair. So. Here’s to attempting to find confidence in something other than my hair length.